We'll here I am. I'm about to turn twenty five next month, I'm a quarter of a century old. With that being said I haven't accomplished much in my life. As I grew older I became more afraid of the world which in turn held me back from a lot of experiences.
I've been married for three, almost four years. Last month it ended abruptly, and that is where my world came crushing and burning down on me. I put all my eggs in one basket. Sometimes you go into an amazing , loving, and caring relationship but apparently it won't last forever. We live our lives knowing that nothing is promised but sometimes you can't help but being caught off guard.
"When one door closes, Another one opens" "There are other fish in the sea" "Time heals all wounds"
There are many opportunities that can be taken from this situation. I can definitely move, grow, and learn from this. Sadly, right now in this moment my life feels heavy and this feeling of drowning. The good thing is that my brain can sometimes float up to the surface and make smart decisions. Coming out of this situation I will work hard to make myself happy. You have to work through the pain and anxiety attacks.
First step I needed to take was towards my mental and physical health. The aforementioned was something that I was always ashamed to addressed. I didn't want anyone to see me in a lesser light or be thought of as someone to avoid. It's hard to accept that there could be something wrong with you and that you maybe not be able to resolve it yourself. I'm grateful for all the help I've been given. Also the friends who have risen to the occasion, thank you so much!
As for the rest of my life? I've decided to finally get the strength and get ride of the fear and applied for school. I haven't been in school for five years, so this is something I've always been a little intimidated to go back to. Well what better time to start when you have practically nothing to lose! Next time something like a big life event happens I'll have a lot more too fall back on. I will no longer be so completely dependent on anyone ever again. In a marriage I believe that you can have some dependency, you're a partnership! You shouldn't be afraid to need someone else, but when it's all you have... that's scary.
I'll be studying to become a veterinarian so that will be a big chuck of the next few years. I'm excited to get to working on it. To start this adventure I'm moving to a whole new state. I need to move forward and put a little distance from my past.
to be continued.......
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